New Perspectives, Inc.

Life surely has its ups and downs. Whether you lose a friend, a promotion, a significant other, or you just fail at achieving a goal, the anguish of disappointment can be devastating. Whether the disappointment is in us or in someone else, the overall feelings of disappointment are akin to the grieving process. Personally, I believe we can work better at grieving the disappointment with others versus the disappointment with ourselves. For me, being disappointed in myself leaves me feeling out of sorts, lost, and, dare I say, vulnerable. It's often a reminder of how fragile life and the human experience is as it pertains to the loss of confidence. Disappointment can kick you squarely in the teeth leaving you dazed and confused. It is never a good feeling, but, with the right direction, you can recover from the feeling. The feeling of disappointed is also a part of life. Do we need disappointment? Well, maybe. I think we all need a modest level of disappo...

“Regrets. I had a few, but too few to mention”. Those simple words so eloquently sang by Frank Sinatra in his classic hit “My Way” have, for some unknown reason, echoed in my brain for as long as I can remember. I often speak to patients about regret as the “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” or the “I wish” followed by the “I will” phrases. Call it what you will, regret plays a very integral part in how we perceive ourselves as people. Have you ever thought to yourself, “I should have bought that suit”, “I wish I was 17 again because I wouldn’t make those stupid mistakes”, “I I only invested my money wisely instead of buying stock in Enron”? Of course you have. We all do. It’s as natural as thinking about what you would like for dinner. What regret does to us emotionally is a whole different state of affairs and the reason for this blog. A very good friend of mine once brought up the subject of guilt during a luncheon discussion. During the conversation, he stated, “Guilt a...

When I first set up this blog for the New Perspectives, Inc. web site, I had high hopes for myself. I was ready to sit down nightly and type out information which could be useful to any reader. But......I looked back to my last entry and saw that I had typed about summertime and here it is December 2009. What happened to my plan? What happened to all my hopes and goals? Did life just get in the way? NFL hall of fame coach of the Dallas Cowboys Tom Landry once said, "Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.” Obviously, Coach Landry speaks to the idea of procrastination. Procrastination refers to the deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting and/or completing any task or decision. There are three criteria: for a behavior to be classified as procrastination, it must be counterproductive, ...